I recently encountered this question on Facebook:
“Do you agree that the closer people get to their goals, the less
patience they have?”
I was impressed by the question. So were others. At the time I was reading, 693 people had responded to it. Fourteen people said they disagreed, sixteen said they did not know, and 663 voiced their agreement. That is an overwhelming majority.
One of the dissenters said that his ability to be patient increased as he came closer to reaching his goals. Another said that the further away from the goal he is, the less patience he has to pursue it. He has a tendency instead to fall into despair.
As for the majority who agreed with the statement, many of them gave good reasons why. Some even supported their arguments with verses of the Qur’an.
For instance: “O you who believe! Be patient, endure, and remain constant. Fear Allah, so that you may be successful. ” [Sûrah Alî `Imrān: 200]
This verse presents emotional states of increasing intensity. First it mentions patience. Then refers to enduring, which requires overcoming both inner weakness and outward adversity. Then, it speaks about constancy, calling the believers to be steadfast and persistent to the end. Finally, it reminds us to fear Allah, which is the utmost expression of forbearance.
Then there is where Allah says: “Until when the Messengers grew despondent and the people became sure that they were indeed told a lie, Our help came to them.” [Sûrah Yûsuf: 110]
This verse is very pertinent to the question at hand. The Messengers are described as “growing despondent” (istay’asa). They are not described as having fallen into hopeless despair (ya’isa). There is a big difference between these two situations. The first is the result of the long postponement of relief. The second situation is far worse: it is where one gives up all hope of attaining relief. However, Allah tells us that at the time, His help was indeed near.
We experience this restlessness as we come closer to our goals, because haste has been made part of our natures. Allah says: “The human being was created as a hasty creature; now will I show to you My signs, but do not ask Me to hasten them on.” [Sûrah al-Anbiyā’: 37]
When people get close to reaching their goals, they naturally become more eager and more impassioned. As the goal comes into sight, it seems like we can almost feel it. With the goal in sight, time seems to slow down. We want to just reach out and get it right now. The attraction of our goal increases, like gravity, the closer we approach it. It is understandable that patience becomes more difficult at this time.
This can be a dangerous time for a difficult long-term project. Because of this heightened sense of urgency at the project nears completion, people start to rush thing and take shortcuts. They become less careful. They can, as a result of their haste, sabotage years of hard work.
At the same time, this restlessness is a natural consequence of being passionate and deeply committed to something, which are the very same productive feelings that give us strength to persevere in the first place. This means that such feelings are all but unavoidable, especially for thise who are indeed industrious and hard-working.
Weariness also comes into play. How often do we see university students growing listless in those last months before graduations? For many students, those months seem to drag on forever. It is strange, considering that these college seniors have been attending school without interruption for nearly sixteen years! It is as if the students’ strength and inner resources have just happened to run out during the final semester. Many students only resist dropping out in their final year because of the shame they know they would feel if they gave up their degree so close to achieving it.
This sensation of being all but depleted right before reaching the destination is pervasive. It can be found in so many different aspects of our lives. When we are driving home after a long journey and our home town appears in the distance, we begin to long for the comforts of home. This is probably one reason why traffic accidents are more common at the main thoroughfares entering a city and why traffic patrols have to me more frequent in those areas.
I know someone who used to live in an apartment on the third floor of a residential building. He used to complain about how tired he would get after reaching the second floor and having to ascend the final flight of stairs. Later on, that person moved to an apartment on the fifth floor of the same building. Thereafter, he was suddenly able to bound up the stairs with energy until reaching the fourth floor. Only then would the fatigue set in!
This is not a blameworthy trait. It is just the way we are wired as human beings. We do become hastier and restless as we near our goals. This is why we need to be reminded at such times and exhorted to patience. Allah says: “Therefore (o Muhammad) do show patient, - a patience fair to see.” [Sûrah al-Ma`ārij: 5]
We should always keep in mind that everything that has a beginning also has an end, and that every end is in turn a new beginning. As one goal is reached, another comes to take its place. We are at our best and most productive when we are striving and full of hope.
We should also keep ourselves from thinking like we have reached our goal until we have indeed actually attained it. Things can always get in the way.
Finally, we should remember that our overarching purpose should be to please Allah. It is our constant goal, and we never know at any moment whether we have realized it. That knowledge is part of the unseen. This is why as believers we live our lives between hope and fear. We should forever strive for the goal of attaining Allah’s pleasure, and we should remain optimistic that we will attain it. We must trust Allah. We must be patient, endure, remain constant, and fear Allah.
I was impressed by the question. So were others. At the time I was reading, 693 people had responded to it. Fourteen people said they disagreed, sixteen said they did not know, and 663 voiced their agreement. That is an overwhelming majority.
One of the dissenters said that his ability to be patient increased as he came closer to reaching his goals. Another said that the further away from the goal he is, the less patience he has to pursue it. He has a tendency instead to fall into despair.
As for the majority who agreed with the statement, many of them gave good reasons why. Some even supported their arguments with verses of the Qur’an.
For instance: “O you who believe! Be patient, endure, and remain constant. Fear Allah, so that you may be successful. ” [Sûrah Alî `Imrān: 200]
This verse presents emotional states of increasing intensity. First it mentions patience. Then refers to enduring, which requires overcoming both inner weakness and outward adversity. Then, it speaks about constancy, calling the believers to be steadfast and persistent to the end. Finally, it reminds us to fear Allah, which is the utmost expression of forbearance.
Then there is where Allah says: “Until when the Messengers grew despondent and the people became sure that they were indeed told a lie, Our help came to them.” [Sûrah Yûsuf: 110]
This verse is very pertinent to the question at hand. The Messengers are described as “growing despondent” (istay’asa). They are not described as having fallen into hopeless despair (ya’isa). There is a big difference between these two situations. The first is the result of the long postponement of relief. The second situation is far worse: it is where one gives up all hope of attaining relief. However, Allah tells us that at the time, His help was indeed near.
We experience this restlessness as we come closer to our goals, because haste has been made part of our natures. Allah says: “The human being was created as a hasty creature; now will I show to you My signs, but do not ask Me to hasten them on.” [Sûrah al-Anbiyā’: 37]
When people get close to reaching their goals, they naturally become more eager and more impassioned. As the goal comes into sight, it seems like we can almost feel it. With the goal in sight, time seems to slow down. We want to just reach out and get it right now. The attraction of our goal increases, like gravity, the closer we approach it. It is understandable that patience becomes more difficult at this time.
This can be a dangerous time for a difficult long-term project. Because of this heightened sense of urgency at the project nears completion, people start to rush thing and take shortcuts. They become less careful. They can, as a result of their haste, sabotage years of hard work.
At the same time, this restlessness is a natural consequence of being passionate and deeply committed to something, which are the very same productive feelings that give us strength to persevere in the first place. This means that such feelings are all but unavoidable, especially for thise who are indeed industrious and hard-working.
Weariness also comes into play. How often do we see university students growing listless in those last months before graduations? For many students, those months seem to drag on forever. It is strange, considering that these college seniors have been attending school without interruption for nearly sixteen years! It is as if the students’ strength and inner resources have just happened to run out during the final semester. Many students only resist dropping out in their final year because of the shame they know they would feel if they gave up their degree so close to achieving it.
This sensation of being all but depleted right before reaching the destination is pervasive. It can be found in so many different aspects of our lives. When we are driving home after a long journey and our home town appears in the distance, we begin to long for the comforts of home. This is probably one reason why traffic accidents are more common at the main thoroughfares entering a city and why traffic patrols have to me more frequent in those areas.
I know someone who used to live in an apartment on the third floor of a residential building. He used to complain about how tired he would get after reaching the second floor and having to ascend the final flight of stairs. Later on, that person moved to an apartment on the fifth floor of the same building. Thereafter, he was suddenly able to bound up the stairs with energy until reaching the fourth floor. Only then would the fatigue set in!
This is not a blameworthy trait. It is just the way we are wired as human beings. We do become hastier and restless as we near our goals. This is why we need to be reminded at such times and exhorted to patience. Allah says: “Therefore (o Muhammad) do show patient, - a patience fair to see.” [Sûrah al-Ma`ārij: 5]
We should always keep in mind that everything that has a beginning also has an end, and that every end is in turn a new beginning. As one goal is reached, another comes to take its place. We are at our best and most productive when we are striving and full of hope.
We should also keep ourselves from thinking like we have reached our goal until we have indeed actually attained it. Things can always get in the way.
Finally, we should remember that our overarching purpose should be to please Allah. It is our constant goal, and we never know at any moment whether we have realized it. That knowledge is part of the unseen. This is why as believers we live our lives between hope and fear. We should forever strive for the goal of attaining Allah’s pleasure, and we should remain optimistic that we will attain it. We must trust Allah. We must be patient, endure, remain constant, and fear Allah.
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